[Pastors wife is divorcing him.] I have read your articles, tried to research the passages but cannot find exactly the info I need. Our pastor has served the Lord for over 30 years, 20 plus year with this church. His wife of 30+ years has filed for divorce. According to God's word, can he remain a pastor in our church? Need book and verse please. Thank you.
Answer:
Many people are struggling with this problem. 1 Timothy 3:2, says a bishop (pastor) is to be the husband of one wife. It does not mention whether the wife has been divorced or not. However, there are other principles of God's word that apply to this situation. Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, clearly state that a man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. It is repeatedly stated in each Gospel that Christians are not do commit adultery. Based on God's principles if a pastor has a divorced wife he has a serious hindrance and limitation to his ministry. The first qualification of a pastor is he be blameless. Here is the deciding principle......The word blameless literally means that he cannot be "laid hold on", not apprehended, meaning he cannot be reprimanded and is not open to censure and is irreproachable. A divorced man has a serious flaw and a man who has a divorced wife....is open to criticism and suspicion of wrong doing. He at least is not an example of having a proper marriage because he is an adulterer according to Matthew 5:32, Mark 10:11-12.
Further it shows a possible serious flaw in his spiritual character. He as a child of God ignored the fact the woman was married and divorced and he made a conscious and willing decision to ignore God's instructions and principles about adultery and marrying a divorced woman.
Therefore he willingly chose to commit the serious and public sin of adultery. Do you think that God will chose to use or call to lead His children, one who by his decisions shows a disregard of God's instructions and who has willing sinned against God? How can a man lead others to follow the Lord when he by his life shows he does not obey God himself.
Should not a leader of a congregation uphold the a highest standard? If the preacher wanted a wife, could He have not trusted God to give him a wife that was not divorced or did not have a living husband, and that would not be a hindrance to the ministry God called him too? It brings questions to mind.....Does this man's actions show he is committed wholly to the Lord? If he thought his ministry to the Lord was important...then he should he have not trusted the Lord for a wife that was not divorced and thus his marriage would not be a hindrance to his ministry. He by marrying the divorced woman shows that his ministry and God's will is at least only a second priority in his life....not the first as God requires.
Probably his wife is a wonderful woman and he is very sincere or educationally qualified . . . but this is not the issue not is this about personalities or education, but God's principles. It is not about the circumstances of her divorce. She may have had an abusive husband. I believe that in time it would prove to be a serious error for a congregation to call a man to lead them that has an obvious spiritual problem in his life. God cannot bless sin, nor does he use those that openly disobey Him in leadership and in something as serious as marriage.
Yes, God forgives....absolutely He forgives, but that does not mean that the matter is erased. Although he is forgiven, he is married to a divorced woman. People know of the this problem and thus a shadow is cast over his ministry. The reason you wrote me about this is that it is a problem. With a qualified pastor, your consideration would be only to follow God's leading, but because of having a divorced wife you and your church concerned about his spiritual qualifications which are brought into question by his marring a divorced woman. As great a leader as Moses was, when he publicly disobeyed God by letting his emotions control him and striking the rock instead of speaking to it as God said....was disqualified by God and refused to enter the promised land. David was not allowed to build the Temple because of his sins in this same area and had his leadership ability was destroyed. Today there is a serious weakest among many men who aspire to the pulpit. Many, by their actions, show they are more interested in themselves than the Lord and that makes them a poor example to a congregation.
I do not write this lightly....but with fear and trembling..... I know it is a serious thing to judge the actions of someone, but we are to discern right and wrong and the Bible is our sole guide. We are to wholly obey God. My heart goes out to the man and his wife. But we are all responsible for our decisions and our decisions do reflect on our character.
I am sure God can use this man in other positions somewhere that does not require him to be a pastor and lead a congregation. I know men in similar situations who are faithfully serving the Lord in their local church and in non-pastoral ministries. You too have a responsibility to the man and to God not to offer him a position that he is not qualified for and certainly not called to by God.
Many congregations in today's world will not take this stand on God's principles and will follow the world's wisdom, but Romans 12:1-2 says, "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
As far as whether a man who was divorced before he was saved is disqualified the answer is "yes." Even though now saved and forgiven...he still has a living wife and probably another family. The verse says "husband of one wife" yet this divorced man has two living wives. Divorce does not nullify a marriage in God's eyes.
Jesus told the woman at the well in John 4:17-18, "The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly."
I hope this helps explain this matter. It is a serious thing to lead a congregation as their pastor and God's standards surely must be upheld by the one that leads His flock.
Answer: I am sorry you take issue with the Bible's presentation of the fact that a divorced and remarried man is not biblically qualified to be a pastor. Your "hermeneutic" is in error, but I am sure you will not accept that because your interpretation is based in your bias. A divorced Christian can serve the Lord in many capacities and be greatly used of the Lord, and I know many who are doing just that, but Sir, God does not call divorced men to lead his people. His standards are higher than yours.
You said, "However, I do have friends that been hurt by this narrow minded, enculturated (sis) opinion." Surely our hearts go out to those who have been involved in divorce because it is a tragic thing to happen to anyone. But what about the others involved?
The main problem with your statement is that the "narrow minded, enculturated (sis) opinion" you criticize is God's opinion on the matter. The divorced man who take the role of a pastor is an adulterer according to Matthew 5:32, Mark 10:11-12. God is clear that He does not called or use divorced men as pastors. However, let focus on your not well thought out statement and note the problems it has that you seem not to be aware of.
Sir, I have friends that have been hurt greatly by those who ignored the fact that God states over and over in His word that He abhors divorce. Yes, and I know of many "enlightened" churches and preachers who applying their pragmatic interpretation, have taken the human and "cultured" position, which waters down God's word and makes light of the great destructive result of divorce on children, husbands, wives, friends and relatives. As much as we sympathize with the hurt a remarried couple may feel because of the sigma attached to divorce we, must accept God's instructions on the matter. What about the men, women, children, friends and families who also have been deeply hurt and devastated by divorce and remarriage?
I have seen the "cultured" of our modern churches ignore all the warnings that God has about divorce and seen them water it down and saying, "Its OK.....remember God loves us and forgives doesn't He?" Yes, God does love and forgive, but He cannot undo the hurt divorce and remarriage causes in people's lives. He cannot undone the lost testimony of a man or woman who has divorced. God cannot condone sinful behavior and put His stamp of approval on sin. He wants the best for us and His instructions to us, if followed, will give us the best life we can live.
You are right...I am not very "cultured" (I think that is what you mean by "enculturated." I tried the find the word in an unabridged dictionary, but it was not there). I grant you that, but I believe God and accept what He says about the matter, and further I know the serious destructive result of making little of divorce and promoting it, by letting divorced men, with no sigma attached . . . present divorce as , yes, not to be sought, but acceptable in our modern informed churches. I am not very cultured because I do not appear to culture to determine "thus saith the Lord." I also do not think it proper for churches or professing Christians to look for supposed "loop holes" in God's word to justify an unbiblical position.
Yet, those that want to allow divorced men to pastor, never explain that these men are adulterers, and are vow breakers....showing themselves to be liars in that they broke their vows made before God. Every marriage ceremony I know of used in churches that claim they are following the Bible makes the vow "that until death do us part." Clearly if they divorce and remarry they have broken their vows made before God and to their bride. They have also committed adultery. Divorced pastors are presenting a mixed message to the people. Before their church and the world they have two living wives, two families, two sets of children. What kind of testimony to the world and especially our young people does this give as to God's biblical instituted marriage? What is happening in churches is that the people are looking a their "wonderful" divorced pastor and saying . . ."See it turned out well for him and it will for me too." The destroyed lives and deep hurt it has caused is not seen and it looks like all is well. But all is not well! Most of these pastors never fully take the responsibility of providing for the family of their ex-wives and children and at best have to divide themselves between the children of their two marriages.
And yes, what about the children.....how do they feel and what has been the effect on them? They now have only a part time father, or one they call dad who is not a real father. They have half brothers and sisters they rarely see and are uncomfortable around and often hardly even know. Feeling as most do, they often blame themselves feeling that somehow the break up of their family was their fault and not their parents. No child that goes through a divorce is unhurt by it.
And yes, what about Ephesians 5:22, and God's admonition that husbands are to love their wives with "agape" love, which is not based on merit or situation...but on love given as God gives His unmerited grace. I suppose you have some convenient interpretation for that passage also that makes "agage" love to be based on feelings or situations instead of being given in spite of whether it is returned or merited. Forgive my bluntness, but where is your supposed "loop hole" for violating this biblical principle?
Oh, yes, and what about 1 Timothy 3;4, that says the pastor should be "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity." I suppose the divorce nullifies that qualification doesn't it? To which of his families does it apply? To which children does it apply and how does he do this with the children of his divorced wife? I wonder what is your cultured and enlighten opinion or interpretation for that passage?
The fact is that God does not call divorced men to pastor His churches and He states this as clear as it can be said in His word. Further no divorced and remarried man can be a testimony to God's people of the high standards of God regarding the sanctity of marriage and the family. Yes, a divorced man can be used of God and live a godly life after his divorce, but he remains unqualified to lead God's sheep.
I realize this response is a blunt and straight forward, and I am not being very tactful with you. But understand that I too, am sick to death of this holier than thou attitude that blatantly ignores God's word and sanctimoniously looks down its long noses at people like me who love God's word and truthfully proclaim it. Those that do this totally ignore the great harm they are causing in the lives of so many people by upholding a blatant lie that God condones divorce and divorced men can pastor churches. These folks may be well meaning, but in simple terms they are compromisers . . . and know little about God and less about His word. . I still have a long way to go, but I have learned a few things and on this issue God's word is clear as a bell.
You condemn me as being "uncultured." The dictionary says that means "refined and well educated." Let me defend myself or as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11:1 addressing his critics..."bear with me a little in my folly." The word "refined" means "to remove impurities or unwanted elements." God tells me "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2) I think I am "refined" in that I am a person who has a compelling love of God and love of the people of God, of families, children, of churches, my brothers and sisters in Christ, and the work of God. I have tried very hard to conform my live to living for the Lord, and not being conformed to the world. So in this I think I am refined. Also, I have two earned degrees in Bible, (ThB, MBS) involving over seven years of formal education, plus thirty years of studying, teaching and preaching God's word. I have written a great number of articles on the Bible which are used by many pastors and Christians. So I think I have a "fair" amount of education, although not all I would like to have.
Sir, let me ask you a question: "Where in God's word does it say that His pastors and preachers are to be "cultured?" The word "cultured" refers to "the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement." Well, my response to that is simple, my faith and beliefs are based on God's stated word...not the opinions of men or of man's intellectual achievements. So, yes, you "got me" I am not "cultured," but I am God's preacher committed to preaching and teaching "thus saith the Lord."
May I say, I will continue to uphold God's highest standards as expressed in His word which includes upholding the sanctity of the pulpit and marriage and let God be my Judge....not you. I refuse to be guilty of compromising God's word and gladly accept the shame of being seen as "enculturated" in your eyes, whatever that means? (I could not find it in my copy of Webster's Unabridged New Twentieth Century Dictionary of the English Language) And Sir, before a Holy and Just God I will not apologize to you for that!
If you desire to read further on the matter may I suggest David Cloud's article on the "The Divorced Pastor" at http://www.wayoflife.org/fbns/divorcedpastor.htm . On the matter of divorce from a biblical position read the article on the subject at http://www.wayoflife.org/fbns/divorce&remarriage.htm .
In principle you have a man carrying God's message whose personal life is not a good example because he is divorced and remarried. He is a man who represents the Lord and thus is under a higher standard that those that are not preachers. He may be a fine Christian man, but the fact is a cloud over his ministry and his divorce and remarriage, in the minds of many, reflects on his character and devotion to the Lord and brings it into question. He has two wives, probably two families with children from both marriages. He has broken the the vow he made before God that "till death do us part." Even if he was the one wronged in the marriage and was divorced by his wife....he chose to remarry, which means he put his own desires before God's. The man who is divorced and remarried has openly committed adultery. That is a serious sin for a man who sets himself up to teach other men and preach God's truth. Publicly he has willingly ignored God's word and commited willful sin. If he is a spiritual man, called of God to preach, then he should put the Lord first in everything. (Rom. 12:1-2, Col. 1:18) He can't really tell people give their all to the Lord, because he did not do it himself. Had he chosen to remain unmarried this testimony would be blameless.
God hates divorce and I can find nowhere in the New Testament where God says He approves of remarriage. 1 Cor. 7 presents the instruction that separation is allowed, but the passage does not condone or address remarriage. Some try to use verse 15 to say remarriage is approved, but I strongly disagree. The passage is specifically talking about a situation (case) where a lost spouse leaves and God is saying that the saved spouse is not bound to remain with the lost spouse. But that passage only approves of separation not remarriage. Verses 16-17 says it is better to try and stay with the unsaved. That means having an unsaved spouse does not by itself allow separation. In fact the situation is that the saved spouse can be a good influence on the unsaved spouse and may win them to the Lord. Verse 17 says, "But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches." God's principle then, stated by Paul, is that believers are to remain with the spouse that God has provided for them, lost or saved if possible. I think that in allowing separation God is making provision for mixed marriages where the unsaved spouse abuses the saved spouse. I am to uphold God's Word, which teaches the marriage is sacred and that God hates divorce and does not condone remarriage. Based on the principles I find in God's word, I would be compromising that word to allow a man to preach before my congregation who was divorced and remarried. I believe we are to uphold God purest principles. If God requires that a deacon who is not biblically a leaders in a church, but an elected servant to the congregation, I think it is clear that God would require that standard of all who stand in pulpits and preach God's word and that would include an evangelists. By the way, an evangelist biblically is a missionary who goes forth and preaches God word.
What I have stated is not the popular view. Many respond by saying what a great evangelist the man is, but the matter is not about ability, but about upholding biblical principles. Some would counter and say, but look at all the souls saved. But once again, we must be apply the principle. The Word of God stands on its own. I know of a number of people that were lead to the Lord in false churches such as the Pentecostals and who love the Lord and in time left these churches that teach false doctrine and now attend biblical churches. It is never right to do wrong to do right. (Bob Jones, Sr.). I agree...
I do not find that the Bible teaches a man must have to experience something in order to have the authority to teach it, because the Word of God stands on its own. The word of God is not validated by my experience, nor invalidated by lack of experience.
A young person may know the word of God sufficiently as to not be considered a novice. In fact Paul told Timothy not to allow people to "despise his youth" which clearly means people concluded that because he was young he was inexperienced. The word for novice is the word neophutos and literally means being "newly planted or a new convert." Timothy was certainly not a novice having been trained by Paul and his qualification to pastor a church seems evident in that he was the pastor of the church at Ephesus. Paul clearly thought he was experienced enough to set the example for the congregation because he encouraged him to do so. So the word novice does not necessarily have a limited and narrow meaning. 1 Timothy 3:1f is saying not to appoint a new convert to be the pastor of a church.
In 1 Corinthians 7:7 Paul states he wishes all men, were as he was and says that it is not a command, but a personal choice of every man. This clearly means that Paul was not then married at that time. Whether he had been married and was now a widower turns on the interpretation of Acts 26:10 "I gave my voice against them." This can mean he was a member of the Sanhedrin and voted to imprison believers. All members of the Sanhedrin had to be married. It could also mean that he only consented to their capture and imprisonment and was not a member of the Sanhedrin. If you take the first view....Paul was once married, not his wife had died, and if you take the second he does not necessarily have had to been married. This is the only reference that might reveal that he was married, but we just do not know for sure. The point is that even though he may have been married in the past....he was not at the time of writing 1 Corinthians and he stated that he thought it was better to be unmarried as a minister of Christ. He surely understood 1 Timothy 3:1f and the qualifications of a pastor....so I do not think he would have advised others in a way that would be contrary to what God clearly stated. If we interpret in the context and the analogy of the faith we must consider all the Bible says on the matter and understand God will never contradict itself.
The nature of the position of leadership of a local church demands that a man hold to God's highest standards. He is to set an example before the congregation at 1 Timothy 4:12 states. The next statement in 1 Timothy 3:2 is that the pastor be "blameless." A pastor who has been divorced and remarried publicly cannot be said to be blameless, and his and the church's reputation is harmed. A divorced man does not uphold in example God's highest standards for marriage.
Further, it gives the idea that divorce is OK for lost people. God also holds the lost man responsible for his life also and the unsaved will be judged for their sins. God does not have a double standard. God hates divorce in the lost and saved people alike. Christians and churches are to present to the world what is right and wrong. Problem is today, because so many churches and Christians are accepting divorce as acceptable behavior, divorce appears to have God's approval which is untrue. We can see the results of this in that the divorce rate in most modern churches is the same as in the unsaved world around them. The reason is clear. . .in the fifties churches began to abandon following God's word on this matter and the stigma against divorce was slowly removed. Now many church's devotion to following God's word had deteriorated until they see nothing wrong with having divorced pastors. It is no wonder that congregations have the same divorce rate as the rest of society. When a divorce man is in the pulpit there is a subtle messages sent to the congregation and to the unsaved.....divorce is OK. God knows what is right and that is why He does not call divorced men to pastor churches. This means that a church led by a divorce man has a man in its pulpit that God did not call to be there....and that is a chilling thought.
Satan seeks to destroy churches and the lives of believers and if a pastor is divorced it gives Satan a way to accuse the church and congregation. It gives him a way to use this against people in and out of that church. It is vital for a church to uphold God's truth and they cannot do that if they violate God's word. We are not to give place to the Devil and to abstain from even the appearance of evil. (Eph. 4:27, 1 Thess. 5:22) This is one reason God says a pastor is to have only one wife.
There a many places for a divorced man to serve the Lord and I know personally men who do so and who have been a blessing to me and others in the churches I have pastored. Their faithfulness to the Lord sets a good example to others, but at the same time does not condone divorce.
I agree that looking at individual situations and applying human reasoning if is hard for us to understand the matter. However, there is something more important that the individual and that is the larger issue of whether we will obey the Lord or not and whether a church will appear to be supporting divorce and remarriage and setting a unbiblical example.
In the individual person's life if we repent, God forgives and the person can from the time of repentance live a faithful live which honours and serves the Lord. However, God's word is clear that after divorce a man is not qualified to lead as a pastor or deacon in a church. He can serve in many other ways, but not as the leader or overseer of a congregation. Ephesians 4:11, lists the evangelist as a ministry-gifted man in the churches. He is actually a missionary who goes forth preaching the Gospel. Therefore the qualifications that apply to a pastor would also apply to an evangelist. For example Phillip was a deacon and an evangelist.(Acts 21:8; 8:5-8,12,26-40) Timothy is told by Paul to do the work of an evangelist.(2 Tim. 4:5) An evangelist today preaches from a pulpit to a congregation and is in a position as an example.
The family is more important in God's plan than most people will accept or even understand. Condoning, or by practice, appearing to approve of divorce sets a bad example and sends the message that divorce is OK. Yet, divorce is a terrible thing and Malachi 2:14-16 makes it clear that God hates divorce. It is easy to see why, when you observe all the heartache, pain and suffering it causes in people's lives and especially its devastating effect on children. Having a divorced and/or remarried pastor or being a preaching evangelist puts a man in a leadership position as setting an example before those he ministers too. Having a divorce man in a pulpit sends a bad message about divorce to the people. God said that if a man desires the ministry of a bishop he desires a good work....but the man must also be qualified. He must set a good example and be above reproach being "blameless." Many desire to minister as a pastor or evangelist, but all are not called and that is why God gave the qualifications.
He gave strict qualifications in the Old Testament for the priests who worked in the Tabernacle and Temple and He also has given us instructions in this the church age. All God's instructions for us are to uphold truth and the highest standard of righteousness, meaning being right. Further everything the Lord instructs us to do sets an example and symbolizes biblical truth. For God to call a man who sets an example that is contrary to God's principles would clearly violate God's own word. Many churches rather than obeying the Lord and following His instructions have accepted human wisdom as their guide in such matters. The result is clear. Today the statistics of divorce in churches is the same as it is in the unsaved world. Churches have violated God's word and have made divorce and remarriage acceptable behavior.
In regard to your comment about an ex-murder being accepted, an ex-murder would not qualify to be a pastor either. He would be disqualified by several of the qualifications of 1 Timothy 3:1f, so that issue is mute and does not really apply. It also reveals something about you thinking on the matter. You have not really studyed the matter biblically. You seem to be looking for "loop holes" to get around obeying God's principles. Maybe you haven't thought about that aspect in your thinking. Why can we not see how vital it is to simply obey the Lord and follow His instructions. If we do His will, and follow His instructions to us then will His will, will be done. He will bless us, and people will be saved, grow spiritually and oh, the heartache that would be avoided. If we do not do His will He will having nothing to do with us and withhold His blessings. God cannot bless error.
Why do we want to accept a lesser standard when God says to flee even the appearance of evil. Why do we want to follow the lost world around us and court sin?
And why would not a man who truly loves the Lord.....obey Him and not present himself in the churches and impose on God's people an unrighteous example? A man may be highly qualified in our eyes or by faulty human reasonsing, but can we not see that certainly such a man is lacking in biblical discernment and also in devotion to truth. If he is loves the Lord....why does accept God's word? It is a legitmate question to ask of such a man..."Does he really believe God's word?" Our lives should be a reflection of God's truth. We have an example in the Old Testament when Moses publicly disobeyed God in striking the rock to bring forth water when God told him to simply speak to it. Because he publicly set a bad example and disobeyed God Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land. Moses was greatly used of the Lord for forty years, but he was set aside because God's truth and a proper example is more important than any man.
The qualifications God gives in 1 Timothy 3:1f are also for the man to judge himself to see if he is qualified. If a man continually lusts after a woman....shouldn't that man confess his sin and if he cannot control himself, he should realize he is not qualified to be God's preacher? Sir,....think about the argument that you used to suggest that I am wrong. And sir, why are you as a preacher, not discerning of these principles, which are spiritual matters? I do not say this to be hurtful, but to help you see a problem that would certainly hurt your ministry.
A pastor and preacher...who preaches God's word is in the public eye. He is therefore, by the nature of the job, a leader and is to set a proper example of the word of God (1 Tim. 4:12). A man who is divorces or who has a divorced wife sends a wrong message and cannot set a proper example. He is the leader of the congregation and an example to the church and yet he is divorce or married to a divorce woman and the conclusion is clear....divorce and remarriage is no big deal and even though God says He hates it...it is OK ...look at my preacher and pastor...he's divorced and leading the church. The natural conclusion is to say "It did not affect him and therefore its OK for me too." See the problem? I think many people have such a poor understanding of God and righteousness.....don't you think that God wants a man who by example reflects, His word and truth? Yet, today in many people's mind is do what I say....not what I do?! Would a holy, righteous and pure God be a party to such as this? God's word says NO! The god of many people is too small.
It is not really important for you to agree with me....but if you are a preacher of God word....can't you that you absolutely must agree with God? Please be kind in your thinking towards me and my blunt reply. Sir, I am a pastor and I have seen over almost a quarter of a century the heartache and pain and the destruction that divorce is causing in people's lives. Why in God's name do Christians take the Devil's side in the matter and condone divorce! Why do men who claim to stand for the Lord and be preachers of teachers of God's truth, ignore His principles and seek for "loop holes" in which that can disobey what God has plainly stated?! I have seen devastated children living miserable lives because of divorce and yes.....they have professing Christian parents who broke their vows sinned against each other and their children. Then you tell me that God approves or would call a man to be a preacher and pastor who has been divorced and by his example seems to put God's stamp of approval on this grievous sin? Not so... and if we simply read God's word He expressed it plain and simple. The fact is unqualified men and compromising pastors have not preached God's word on this matter and today....and in our "Christian" churches....the divorce rate is the same as in the unsaved world we live in. Does not that say something about this matter?
I guess I have had at least fifty to sixty men write me condemning me for printing the article... . Sir, that baffles me? Why would God's man condone what God hates and try and defend it. Well, I am just a simple pastor and sinner saved by grace. But, I am not going to second guess the Lord and take the side of sin and I don't think God's true pastor will either. And whether anyone believes it or not....I deeply care for the people of God. I am called of God to be pastor His sheep. As His undershepherd I want to protect His sheep because that is my task...they are His sheep and they need not a "hireling" (John 10:12), but God's faithful undershepherd to love them, set the proper example and tell them God's truth... . And yes, I deeply care for the man who stands behind the sacred desk and preaches and leads God's assembly. Jesus addressed this matter of men who put take upon themselves the position of being God's undershepherds and yet fail in their responsibility to protect God's sheep. Jesus called them "hirelings." He said, "But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep." (John 10:12) That is what a "hireling" does, he does not protect the sheep and will run or compromise at the first sign of trouble. God's man, God's true pastor, will stand in the door, weather the storm and even give his life for the sheep.
1. A pastor is to be blameless in all his ways and that includes his marital status. A divorced man cannot set a proper example of God's standards and is not blameless. First the divorced man is a vow maker and also an adulterer. The man who is divorced, though he can be forgiven and can serve the Lord fruitfully in many ways, does not have that blameless marital status that is required for this special office of pastor who leads the Lord's flock. He has two wives and possibly two families. If so he cannot be a father to his children he does not live with. 1 Tim. 3:4 states: "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)."
2. The pastor should not be a divorced man because he is to be an example of God's perfect will to the church (1 Pet. 5:3). Though separation is allowable under certain circumstances (1 Cor. 7), it is not God's design for marriage (Matt. 19:3-6, 1 Cor. 7:10). 3. The pastor cannot be a divorced man the pastor has to preach the whole counsel of God, and if he has a broken and crippled marital status, he is not in a position to preach some things with complete authority. His preaching on marriage, divorce and remarriage would be "tongue in cheek." The creditably of a divorced man's preaching and the clarity of God's word is compromised when it is done by men who have serious blemishes such as having been divorced. Not once in over twenty five years of ministry have I seen a man who was completely innocent (blameless) who experienced a divorce. 4. A divorced man does not set a proper example as 1 Timothy 4:12 instructs. "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word [in one's speech] , in conversation [ behavior, conduct, way of life] , in charity [love], in spirit [character and temperament] , in faith, in purity [ blameless in one's life]." Clearly a divorced and remarried man cannot set this example before men. I hope this helps you understand the seriousness of this matter and the error of your opinion.
In 1 Corinthians 7:7 Paul states he wishes all men, were as he was and says that it is not a command, but a personal choice of every man. I think that is a important statement in reference to your question. Paul does not prohibit remarriage in cases of the death. Clearly, Paul was not married at the time he made these statements. Whether he had been married and was now a widower turns on the interpretation of Acts 26:10 "I gave my voice against them." This can mean he was a member of the Sanhedrin and voted to imprison believers. All members of the Sanhedrin had to be married. It could also means that he only consented to their capture and imprisonment and was not a member of the Sanhedrin. If you take the first view....Paul was once married and if you take the second he does not necessarily have had to been married. This is the only reference that might reveal that he was married, but we just do not know for sure.
The point is that even though he may have been married in the past....he was not at the time of writing 1 Corinthians and he stated that he thought it was better to be unmarried as a minister of Christ. In either case He was not married and was preaching and planting churches. He surely understood 1 Timothy 3:1f and the qualifications of a pastor....so I do not think he would have advised others in a way that would be contrary to what God clearly stated. If we interpret in the context of the analogy of the faith we must consider all the Bible says on the matter and understand God will never contradict itself.
The normal interpretation of "one woman man" is one living wife at a time. Death releases or ends the marriage vows. "To death do us part." A man is not marriage whose wife has pasted away. And we know there is no marriage in heaven. So is seems a restriction against a pastor remarrying whose wife has passed away is invalid. He is free too, if he so desires.
Paul said he preferred all men were as he was. That means to be unmarried. So Paul is saying a man does not have to be married to pastor and means that 1 Timothy 3:2 means a man should have only one living wife, which precludes a pastor remarrying after divorce.
Personally, even though I believe a pastor can remarry after his wife dies, I do not believe it to be the best action and I believe that was Paul's point. I love my wife dearly (42 years of marriage) and I believe it would dishonor the memory of our relationship and love for each other for me to give my affections to someone else. It would, to me, be a selfish action and would make little of all my wives sacrifices and the love we have for each other. Marriage should be honored.
I have seen several pastors remarry who lost their wives and it hurt their children and their relationship with their church. The justification for their remarrying was they needed someone to take care of them, which seems to me to be a very selfish reason. To me it cheapens marriage to lost a wife and then replace her and go on as if she had not existed. If, I was to lose my wife, if would be hard for me to continue, but .....I would continue on alone.....and absolutely would not remarry which would honor my wife Carolyn, our relationship, and God's institution of marriage.
But I would continue to preach and pastor as long as God will give me the health and strength to do so, because the New Testament does not prohibit an unmarried man from doing so.
1 Timothy 3:11 says "Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things." This would indicate the wife of a deacon must be a spiritual woman who would be above reproach. The New Testament does not specifically mention the situation of a man marrying a divorced woman except at stated above, but the Bible does give God's people instruction on the matter.
Is God not telling us that he wants pastors and deacons to be above reproach as examples in their church? As a pastor I would not consider using a man as a deacon who is married to a divorce woman. It shows a like of commitment to the Lord on his part. It does not mean the man can not be used in other tasks in a church, but the position of his being a public servant is compromised. His wife's testimony is in question and that casts a shadow over him. This does not mean the woman was necessarily at fault, but whether she was or not, the suspicion is there.
The matter biblically is a three fold matter. One, the wife fails the principles of 1 Timothy 3:11. Secondly, because she is remarried to another man she has committed adultery. Third, why did God choose to give instruction about a deacon's wife and not a pastor's? That strongly indicates the character and testimony of a servant of the local church is vital to the ministry of the deacon. Clearly we as God's children and as a biblical church should uphold the word of God let it guide us as we hold the highest standards of spiritual living as a testimony to others.
Clearly, it is not popular to take this position and many people will not understand and those that take this stand will be criticized. Some mistakenly conclude that the matter is not addressed in the New Testament and therefore is acceptable. That is the sad state of our current culture and worldliness in our churches. Although God gives clear instructions, undiscerning men and woman take a superficial look at the matter and concluded is okay because God does not specifically state a man marrying a divorced woman is not qualified. It would be the same thing if a man concludes that using drugs is okay because God does not specifically prohibit their use.
God plainly condemns divorce, but many of our church members, hold the same views as our sinful society. That is why divorce among many professing Christians is looked upon as normal and it is ignored for the sake of peace. Today you rarely hear a pastor addressing the matter and the issues involved in the pulpit. The result is that the divorce rate among most church members is the same as in the secular society. Churches that need to elect deacons today have a hard time finding men who are qualified.
When God's people say that divorce and remarriage are wrong, as God does, and let God's word govern their actions . . . the Lord is glorified and our families, churches and society are better for it. God blesses the individual and the congregation. God can and does bless a church and believers who stand for the truth and refuse to compromise God's principles. Sadly, few pastors/churches/church members have the stomach, discernment or commitment to do this and we are the worse for it.
One word of advice. We should stand solid on God's word and His principles, but we should do so in a way that makes accepting the Bible's teaching the issue and not differences in personalities. When differences such as this come up in a church the matter can resort to personalities which clouds the real issue. We are to be kind, loving and respectful towards others, even those who are wrong. It would be a serious mistake to slander a man and his wife. Some of the most godly couples I have known over the years in the churches I pastored one or the other had been divorced. Many has served the Lord, been soul winners and were a great asset to our church. When I start a new church I deal with the matter before it comes up. Therefore, a couple is not subjected to scrutiny and possible embarrassment. Looking for loop holes in order to get around obeying biblical principless causes confusion and hurt. A church and pastor must be very careful not to hurt one of God's children. We must respectfully seek to guide a congregation to take a proper biblical stand on doctrinal issues, which this clearly is, but we must also with a Christ like spirit "contend for the faith."
Jesus then stated that under the Law, (which Christians are not under today) only fornication was justification for divorce.
He did not say....adultery, but fornication. Fornication is sexual relations, before a marriage is consummated, by the wife. Adultery is sexual relations with other than one's spouse. It is important to understand that Jesus used the word "fornication" not adultery. If the husband on their wedding night found his betrothed wife not to be a virgin he could write a bill of divorcement and reject her as his wife. You must understand the context of Jesus' statement was in regard to the oriental marriage which was in three stages. The betrothal, the wedding feast when the groom came for the bride and the consummation on the wedding night. Read Matthew 1:18-19. Mary was with child and the marriage of Mary and Joseph had not been consummated. He was actually married to her when the marriage was arranged and could have divorced her when he found her with child. However, Mary was a virgin and the angel explained to him what were the circumstances. Thus he did not divorce her.
Divorce is destroying our nation and also our churches. It is decimating our families and children, how then can we support it!! Especially, when God condemns it. The rate of divorce among church members is the same as in the secular population. Why??? Because many preacher, many who are good men, have misunderstood God's word and have condoned divorce and remarriage....even among preachers!!!
God allows separation as 1 Corinthians 7:1-17 explains, but God never condones or approves of divorce and absolutely not for pastors and preachers.
Respectfully, I hope this helps you understand this important truth. I am amazed that there is so much confusion on the matter when the word of God is perfectly clear. Clearly it is Satan who is the author of lies that is ultimately behind all the confusion. You should confess your sin of false teaching and correct it from your pulpit. "Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. Let all your things be done with charity" (1 Corinthians 16:13-14 ) If you are divorced you should obey God and immediately resign. There are many ways a divorced man can serve God, but not from the pulpit.
This was OT civil law and states "When a man hath taken a wife and married her" which means as I explained in the last email that the marriage had not been consummated. This was the last step of the Jewish marriage when the husband on his wedding night had relations with his wife for the first time. If the husband found she was not a virgin or there was something about her that was wrong or that he did not like, then the married was not consummated and the man was not obligated to be married to her. The woman, not having relations could marry someone else. Sir, as I stated before, when you interpret God's word you must interpret it in its historical and culture context. You have to understand oriental marriage customs.
Jesus in Matthew 10, stated that only adultery was grounds for divorce, not just the husband finding something wrong or something he did not like about the woman. He was rebuking them for divorcing for such a frivolous reason.
God condemned Israel for this practice in Malachi 2:13-16. Specifically in verse 14 God said..."Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant." (Malachi 2:14) The phrase "hast dealth treacherously" put the matter in the correct perspective....meaning that the husband who did this was wrong in divorcing his long time wife for no good reason. God soundly condemns this practice which was common in Israel. This is describing clearly the practice of divorce "after" the marriage was consummated and this is what Jesus was referring to and condemning in Matthew 10.
You are mistaken in your statement concerning Paul in Corinthians. Paul nowhere in 1 or 2 Corinthians says that a Christian can get a divorce and remarry. In 1 Corinthians 7:13f he says a Christian can separate from an unbelieving spouse, but he never approves of remarriage. He does not use the word "divorce" but uses "separation" which clearly shows the couple although separated were still in God's eyes married and if they remarried they committed adultery. Please read what Paul did say:
"Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man." (Romans 7:1-3)
He does not say a woman is free to be remarried unless her husband is dead. Paul states: "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:39) The "only in the Lord" phrase means she is to marry only a believer.
Paul further states:
"But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." (1 Corinthians 7:15)
There is no contradiction between the passages you referred to and they are all in harmony, if one understands the cultural situation being discussed. The problem is using a faulty understanding and trying to apply Occidental (Western) culture to Bible times and ignoring God's plain and clear statements.
I'm not interested in arguing either, but I am, as God's preacher, obligated to preach and teach God's word correctly and to contend earnestly for the faith. All God's true pastors and preachers have the calling and obligation.
It has no bearing on the truth whether you thought for years it was wrong and then changed your mind or not. It does not matter that you prayed and didn't get any sleep for three days. It does not matter that you finally decided that divorce and remarriage was okay for Christians and preachers. What makes the matter true or false is "thus saith the Lord." The Mormons whom I live with do the same thing you say you did and most of them conclude that the Book of Mormon is God's word and Mormonism is true. You do not pray about whether God's word is right or wrong....but rather pray for God's strength to understand and live it.
The matter is spelled out clearly in God's word and God has settled it. The confusion is not with God, but with men who for what ever reasons or circumstances incorrectly interpret God's word. Does it not make you think...that your conclusion is the same as every liberal, Charismatic, unbiblical and apostate denomination, and cult?
I have no ill will toward you...I do not know you...but this is an important matter and how one understands it reflects on their being in God's will or out of it and as a preacher of God's word whether they can correct discern God's word. Of course this further reflects on whether a man understands other vital truths in God's word. But that is for you do deal with.
Although certain O.T. believers practiced polygamy (Gen. 25:6; 35:22; Judges 8:31; 2 Sam. 5:13; 1 Kings. 11:3; 2 Chron. 11:21), it has always been condemned by God.
(5) Those who have more than one wife today are forbidden to hold church leadership positions (1 Tim. 3:2,12; Tit. 1:6). No polygamist is qualified and not called of God to be a preacher, deacon or leader in a church who practices polygamy.
This shows that God is against polygamy. Those who practiced this were disobeying God, even though some were godly men. David is a key example. He multiplied wives to himself in spite of God's command against this, but his lust also brought him into terrible grief.
I hope you will study the Bible and accept God's word on the matter....and repent of false doctrine.
[Representative of Jesus Christ promotes polygamy] I am a representative of Jesus Christ. You made statements that a man could not have more than one wife. Now I want to just share with you this from the heavenly Father. When you read 11 Samuel 12:7 and verse 8 it says that the Lord God of Israel gave King David , King Saul's wives into his bosom. God gave David multiple wives and approved of polygamy. [Bible Truth note: This man is probably a fundamentalist Mormon]
[Is there a contradiction between the OT and NT?]
In the OT it tells us that if a man and woman couldn't get along they could get a written divorce and then go marry whom they will. In Matt 19 Jesus says if you divorce for any cause other than adultery you commit sin. Paul comes along in Corinthians and says that if you get a divorce and remarry you have not sinned. Now, which one is right? They can't all be right can they? Let me ask you this way. Who's talking, who are they talking to, and when are they talking about it? [Divorce occurred before man is saved] If a man is divorced and remarried before he is saved, and they are both saved man and his wife, if God has forgiven him how can we now say he is unworthy to take the position of a deacon. [Pastor must be married?]I believe a man must be married - not marriage = not qualified .. he is a novice in the area of the home with no track record therefore he is not blameless. No children = not qualified, again there is an area that he has not been tested and tried and again he would not be blameless but a novice. No first hand experience in teaching and raising kids - only head knowledge. It like a person who knows the Romans Road Map and can teach others to lead people to Christ but having no personal fruits...zilch - none - goose egg. [What about a pastor whose wife dies? Is he qualified if he remarries? ] Would not a pastor whose mate has died lose his qualification if he re-marries? It would not be a sin for him to remarry, since his mate is dead, but we are not talking about sin, but about qualifications are we not? If the qualification is "a one woman man", that would leave him out. Right? After all, divorce is not mentioned. It does not say "he must not be divorced." It seems, at least to me, to say, "married only once"...period? [What about a man who lusts] According to 1 Tim 3:2, a man must be blameless. Now, according to what I have read on your site, a man who marries a divorced woman has committed adultery and is therefore not blameless. So he cannot be a Pastor. Here is my question: What about all us men, who have violated this. Matthew 5:28, which says to lust after a women is adultery? Are these men also not qualified to Pastor. If so, I would think we would have a serious Pastor shortage. The thing that confuses me, is why is so much emphasis put on the fact that it was a public sin. Since being saved, I would guarantee that just about every Pastor out there, has willingly sinned against God. After all to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. So where do you draw the line on Blameless?
[Divorce vs murder] You say that even an evangelist that has been divorced shouldn't be one. What if he is a murderer, goes to prison, gets saved, feels the Lord has called him to preach? If you say yes then it's okay for a former murderer to preach but because someone as a teenager gets married and it last for 12 months and 20 years later he get born again, he can't preach. It just doesn't add up. [Should a man with a divorced wife be qualifed as a pastor?] If a born again believer was married and his wife passed away and he later remarried, but the woman he remarried is a divorced woman, then he feels a calling to become a pastor. Does this disqualify him from becoming a pastor by marrying a divorced woman? Since his first wife was deceased, I believe he passes the qualifications on his part. The reason I'm asking is our church is searching for a pastor and this situation was made aware to us during the interview and several of the men (including myself) felt that he should not hold the title of pastor. I know all the verses speak of the man being divorced eliminates him from being pastor. Are we wrong in disqualifying him from being a pastor because his wife is a divorced woman ? Could you please comment on this situation (scripture references) ? Thank you.
[I take issue with your presentation of I Tim 3:2] When approached hermeneutically, you can assume that a man, at the time of office, is the husband of one wife. There is no way that you can legitimately assume that divorce and remarriage was the intent of the author. . . .PS: I am neither divorced or a minister. However, I do have friends that been hurt by this narrow minded, enculturated opinion (sic).
[Divorced Evangelists] Does the restriction against a pastor being remarried apply as well to evangelists?
[Divorce occurred before man is saved] If a man is divorced and remarried before he is saved, and they are both saved man and his wife, if God has forgiven him how can we now say he is unworthy to take the position of a deacon. [1 Timothy 3:1f does not say anything about a man being divorced??] The scripture 1-Tim 3-2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant,sober,of good behavior given to hospitality, apt to teach* This may be very minimal to you , but does not say a thing about divorce. But does suggest only one wife- as in those days men had several wives. You sir should be very carefully how you interpret Gods word.
Answer:
The consensus of most pastors is that it would not apply to an evangelist. I lean the other way because in interpreting God's word and when the Scriptures are not specific about a particular situation, we must apply the relevant principles in God's word to determine what God would want us to do.
Answer:
How do you reconcile your belief that a pastor must be married with the fact that Timothy, Titus and John are recorded as pastors of the Ephesus church and are not reported as being married?
Answer:
1 Timothy 3:2, and Titus 1:6 state that a pastor must be "the husband of one wife." Yes, God has forgiven a man all his past, present and future sins when that man believes and receives Christ as his Savior. But that does not change or nulify the fact that if he has been divorced and is remarried and he has two wives and often two families. A man who murdered or stole or hurt people before he was saved is forgiven for those sins, but the results of the past sins are not erased. An alcoholic who is saved from alcoholism is forgiven and will no longer drink, but the harm done to his body, himself, his family and friends is not erased.
Answer:
Answer:
Thank your for writing and I read your comments. Please be understanding in reading my reply. Sir, think about your reply? Does 1 Timothy 3:2 say anything about a man not being qualified because he lusted in his mind after a woman? Clearly it doesn't because it is not a public sin and therefore cannot be evaluated by a church in determining the qualifications of a man who desires to be a pastor. The qualifications are listed to guide a church in judging who is qualified and who is not. Clearly the passage says having the desire to be a pastor is not enough. A man who is divorced cannot publicly be considered blameless or who marries a divorced woman.
Answer:
Human wisdom or emotion discounts the seriousness of divorce, but God upholds a perfect standard for us and especially his pastor's. Although your position appeals to human benevolence, it violates and sets aside God's standards and thereby condones and white washes sin and ignores the destructive impact of divorce and remarriage on people's lives. A pastor cannot be divorced and remarried. Clearly you disagree with the position that the divorced man cannot be a pastor, but for the following three reasons I am convinced that this is the scriptural position.
Answer:
Timothy, Titus and John are recorded as pastors of the Ephesus church and are not reported as being married? Peter was married and Paul may have been also, though we cannot be sure. Both wives apparently had died. It seems Paul's wife, if he was married, died before he was saved, but neither man remarried and they continued to preach and serve the Lord.
ul>
Answer: Men who have married divorced women are not qualified to be deacons for many biblical reasons. A woman or man who has been previously married and who divorces and remarries commits adultery. (Mark 10:11) Matthew 5:32 states that a man who marries a divorsed woman commits adultery. Futher the woman now has two families and two husbands and she broke her marriage vows, which state one marries for better or worse, till death do us part. The biblical example of an unbroken marriage, of a man and woman joined together until "death do us part" is lost. The couple are not an example of a biblical home.
Answer:
How do you handle Matthew 19:8? The Pharisees asked Jesus why Moses allowed divorce. Jesus responded that Moses...not God...allowed divorce because of the hardness of their hearts, but He states that in the beginning it was not so! So who do you follow...Moses or Jesus Christ?
Answer:
The verse in Deuteronomy says, "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife." (Deuteronomy 24:1-2)
"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
Verse 15 states that if a unbelieving spouse leaves the wife is not obligated to remain with that spouse....but it does not mention or give approval for remarriage and Verses 10-11 make that explicitly clear.
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2)
Answer:
You are mistaken and do not know what the Bible, God's word teaches. You are sadly misinformed as to God's instruction about polygamy. Please take your Bible and follow the following:
(1) God ordained one-woman, one-man marriage in the beginning (Gen. 2:20-24).
(2) Polygamy originated with the son of rebellious Cain (Gen. 4:16-19).
(3) Concerning David and other O.T. saints who had plural wives:
(a) It resulted in much heartache and trouble (Ge. 16:1-6; 1 Sa. 1:2-8; 1 Ki. 11:1-8).
(4) There is no N.T. example of a godly Christian having more than one wife.
(b) God had forbidden kings to multiply wives (Deut 17:14,17). David, Solomon, and other kings who had multiple wives were living contrary to God's Word. They were disobedient to God.
(c) Most men of God even in the O.T. had only one wife. This is true for Adam (Gen. 2-4), Noah (Gen. 6:18), Isaac (Gen. 25:20-23), Joseph (Gen. 41:45), Moses (Exodus 2:21), Boaz (Ruth. 4), Job (Job 1), Isaiah (Isa. 8:3), and Hosea (Hosea 3:1-3).
Answer: I think you can see from David's life that his sins though forgiven by God, caused him to lose his testimony and effectiveness as a father, husband and God's king of Israel. His family was a mess and his children had no respect for him. There was gross sin among his children and Absolam his son deposed him as king. He further lost the respect and loyalty of the people of Israel and they rebelled against his leadership. Because of his sins of adultery and murder he was not allowed to built the temple in Jerusalem. He did amass the materials for it, but was not allowed to see it built. It is a over statement to say that God greatly used him after he sinned against God. His personal life and his kingdom were greatly effected in a negative way and he had no peace the rest of his life. So using David as an example to try and justify a a divorced and/or remarried man from being the pastor of a church in truth shows the fallacy of such human rational.
An appointed servant of God who ministers in a local assembly, which is what a deacon is, must be a man of character and set a godly example before the people. That is God's stated standard. God says in 1 Timothy 3, "And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless. Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things." (1 Timothy 3:10-11) Both the husband and wife of an appointed servant in the local church must be proven by their godly lives to be an example of being lead by the Holy Spirit. It is interesting that God does not mention the pastor's wife, but does address the character of the deacon's wife. That shows the importance of the deacon and his families character as being above reproach.
God plainly says a deacon must be "the husband of one wife." That is a simple and straight forward statement which is not changed by the fact that many try to twist it around to deny what it plainly states. A deacon is not be be divorced and remarried. Be a deacon is to be a servant to the people in the local congregation and God's standard is that they be "blameless." A divorced man cannot be said to be blameless. There is always a shadow over him because his marriage failed.
In our human reasoning we can try to rationalize the matter. However, two things are vital to understanding the matter. First, God says a divorced man is not qualified. Second, one who serves the Lord in a public way must be blameless.
Sir, sin has its consequences and is always destructive. In the matter of divorce...that sin disqualifies a man for public appointed service by the local church. A church is not to elect a divorce man and thereby make little of the sin involved and negate God's command that marriage is a life time commitment.
I hope this helps you understand this. Divorced people can serve the Lord and be faithful and used of the Lord in many ways....but not as a pastor or deacon.